Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 

Chevalier - Chapter 1 by ~gneralshock06:icongneralshock06:



Chapter 1  “The Massacre of Hunter’s Pass”

Edward clasped his shoulder as he ran though the forest tears running down his face, tears of pain and sorrow as moments before he had looked on helplessly as his mother had her life snatched away from her by the Imperial Military. Edward winched as he snapped the shaft of the arrow that had embedded itself in his left shoulder, he could still hear the screams coming from the village as continued to run, but he knew that if he stopped there was a good chance that he would be captured by the Imperial troops and executed. Edward ran until his legs could carry him no further and he fell to his knees gasping for air, he knew that he could travel no further until he had addressed the wound in his shoulder and rested for a few hours, so he looked around and found a small ditch where he could hide for a few hours before he would have to move on, ‘just enough time to get some rest and remove the arrow head that some imperial bastard decided would look nice in my shoulder’ he thought bitterly to himself as he squatted down in the ditch. Edward removed his shirt to examine the wound, he could see part of the arrowhead but quickly realised that he would have to use his knife to cut it free. Taking his knife from his belt pouch with one hand he grabbed a small branch and placed it between his teeth and biting down hard in order to prevent himself from screaming and alerting any nearby imperial troops of his position. ‘This is going to hurt like hell’ he thought to himself as he took the knife in his hand, he began carefully sliding the blade in to the wound and it was then that the first wave of pain washed over him causing him bite down harder on the wood and his eyes to run with tears. Slowly he worked the blade around the arrowhead until he was able to pull the bloodstained arrowhead free; breathless he examined the cruel barb before tossing it in to some bushes. Now that he was free of the arrow head he wiped away some of the blood from the wound and bound it with a piece of cloth torn from his bloodied shirt, having addressed the wound in his shoulder he could now rest for a few hours before moving on, so he lay on his side and fell into a fitful sleep.

When Edward finally awoke he found that it was morning and that he could no longer hear any sounds coming from the village, in fact he couldn’t hear anything there was only a chilling silence that hung around the valley that he had once called home. However he could smell something being carried on the wind, it was the smell of roasted meat, pork perhaps he thought to himself. Drawn by the smell he climbed out of the ditch that had helped to safe guard his life and walked cautiously towards the smell moving from cover to cover and moving down wind in case there were still imperial patrols in the area with their blood hounds. Edward moved slowly as he has lost a lot of blood from the wound in his shoulder and was feeling fresh waves of pain wash over him with every step that he took. After a while Edward reached the edge of the forest, the sunlight hitting his eyes momentarily blinded him while they adjusted to the light of the day. It was then that he beheld the carnage and horror of the previous nights attack, he realised to his horror what the smell was, it had been the smell of his family, friends and fellow villagers being burnt alive in their homes. Suddenly a wave of horror swept over the boy as he fell to his knees and he began to vomit intensely at the sights and smells of the scene that lay before him. Slowly he got to his feet and made his way thought the ruins of his former home.
Hunter Pass had been a village on the edge of spire mountain range and sat on the border between the nations of Arcana and Lucadium. These two great nations had been at odds with one another for years, over a dispute about Arcana invading and occupying its smaller neighbour Tyrin. Now it seemed that Arcana was done arguing with diplomats from Lucadium and had declared it intention by attacking the closest Lucadium settlement, Hunter’s Pass.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:icongneralshock06:

Author's Comments

the first chapter of a story i started writing about 4 months back, finished the chapter and have yet to comeback to the story to continue it. eh maybe if the response is positive i will finish the tale.

also this stands as proof that i can produce longer pieces of work, ;-)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconalahranadal:
This is really nice. So if you are going to continue with this, then i think you have a really good starting place. This is an interesting begining and it doesn't tell too much about this world or about Edward. So it leaves me wondering about all of this. I would be eager to read any more if you were to continue it.

Though i did notice as i read through this that there were several words where either you meant a word that was spelled similar or you just spelled the word wrong.But they were little mistakes that are easily fixed and i could easily tell what word you meant so it didn't interupt the piece. So other than those few words, this was a wonderful start.

--
Check out my awesome lit club!!! ~TheSoulAsylum
~~~
Read this really really fast outloud---------->Ed had edited it
:icongneralshock06:
thanx, always nice to have a peer of the style compliment and critique a piece of work

--
"boredom is the father of all bad ideas and undertaker to the fools who attempt the worst of them" gneralshock06 19:32 26/02/09
:iconalahranadal:
no problem. I was happy to read it and offer you my opinion.

--
Check out my awesome lit club!!! ~TheSoulAsylum
~~~
Read this really really fast outloud---------->Ed had edited it

Details

October 30, 2008
4.2 KB

Statistics

3
1 [who?]
36 (0 today)
3 (0 today)

Site Map